Stillness

Stillness is a vague memory,
a comfort I crave
but cannot realize.
My skin crawls
and my muscles twitch.
What has happened
to my center?
It’s the meds
I tell myself.
But what if
it’s not?
What if my center
is forever moving?
I hate that thought.
I used to pride myself
on my ability
to
be
still.
Now I try so hard
to move so little.
It’s not the same.