The Long Hall

Happiness has found me
At the end of this long hall
That is my life.
So many doors
To closets and rooms.
So many dead ends
And empty spaces.
I’ve struggled
To get this far
And never expected
Anything else.
But now the path
Is suddenly easier.
And there is joy
Behind each door.
I could turn around
And look back
At the long hall
But I won’t
Ever
Again.

Stillness

Stillness is a vague memory,
a comfort I crave
but cannot realize.
My skin crawls
and my muscles twitch.
What has happened
to my center?
It’s the meds
I tell myself.
But what if
it’s not?
What if my center
is forever moving?
I hate that thought.
I used to pride myself
on my ability
to
be
still.
Now I try so hard
to move so little.
It’s not the same.

Doubt

There are so many things
I love about you.
Your intelligence,
your drive,
your kindness,
and compassion.
Your loyalty,
your passion,
your smile,
and your laugh.
But your doubt
is killing me.
We say we love each other
and I think we do.
But so many times
you ask a question
that I never seem to answer
well enough.
And we fight for hours
with no resolution.
The next day always seems better
but one day it won’t be.
It will just be more of the same
from the night before.
One day you will leave
and you may not miss me
once you are gone.