Abandon

So many times I feel.
I feel first and think later.
So many times
there is a grey area.
There is a question mark,
but this time
there is not.
Don’t get me wrong,
there was.
It wasn’t love at first sight.
That is a myth anyway.
I made an ass out of myself
and tried to sabotage
the relationship
in its genesis.
But fate was a friend
for once
and my antics
fell by the wayside.
Slowly, or so it felt,
my feelings exploded.
I fell in love.
But what felt like a lifetime,
was mere weeks
and my thoughts
overtook my feelings.
I started to ask myself
why?
Why I suddenly felt the way I did.
My answers were far fewer
than my feelings
and I let go.
I chose to believe my feelings
and ignore past protocols.
I accepted that I was in love
and I supported this thought
with my heart and my soul.
It is so very scary
to feel this way,
but I am old
and I am worn.
But I am wise
for the damage I’ve endured.
And I have earned the right
to love with abandon.
I have earned the right
to believe
that I have found
the woman.
The one woman
I will live the rest of my life with.