Love and chaos

When I was born
I was a silver winged
Champion for love.
I loved my mother
So intently
That she was shaken.
For love is chaos
And I was also
An agent of chaos.
She tried to love me
For five years,
But I scared her
And she was too young
To understand.
She put me in a home
For troubled boys
And forgot me.
For two years I was lost
With no one to love.
I embraced chaos
And made a name for myself
through my disregard
of others.
When every home in California
Was exhausted
I was sent to Texas.
For correction.
I learned very quickly
To be invisible.
I struck silently
And often.
As the older angrier boys
Were struck down,
Eyes turned to me,
But never settled.
Still I was shipped
From home to home
And lost even a sense of myself.
After two long years
A young couple picked me out
And took me home.
It took years, but I reached down
And found the love
I was born with.
The chaos was there as well,
But I masked it
With a smile.
I still wear the same smile
And I still carry the chaos.