Layoffs

I’m at home
and I’m worrying
about work.
Layoffs are coming.
I like my job,
but I’m new
and haven’t proven myself
yet
I’m good at what I do,
but I’ve only been challenged
now
and I’m working hard
to over deliver.
I know I should sleep
and get up early
and go to work,
but I’m worried
and doubting myself
which is too common these days.
There was a time
when I was confident
and fearless
and could do anything
without a second thought.
But I spread myself thin
for too many years.
I wonder what I could do
if I was laid off
and tired of design.
Construction maybe.
I like to use my hands
and sweat.
Bartending maybe.
I was good in college,
but don’t remember
the drinks I used to make.
Waiting tables maybe.
But that’s so unreliable.
Writing copy maybe.
I was good when I did,
but have no samples now.
Selling maybe.
But I hate sales,
the pushiness
and necessity
of calls and meetings.
If only
I could make money writing
my poems
and stories.
It seems like
they are the only things
I believe in
anymore.