Wondering

Just one day.
I wish I could get outside
My mind
And my fears.
I walk through the house
And stop
Wondering where I was going
And what I meant to do.
I am thinking
Of the woman
I am seeing
And analyzing
Our every moment
Together.
They just don’t make sense
Yet I look for the sense
And am disappointed.
The older I get
It seems the less I understand
About women
And dating.
I like this woman
And I know
She likes me
But
The advances I make
Are turned away
And the time together
Seems less special.
There should be
A constant progression
In a relationship
Yet I feel déjà vu
Every time we are together.
Perhaps there is more
Just over the horizon,
But the horizon
Changes
And moves
Further away
Each time we are together.
I am stuck
In the now
The now that is moments
Moments talking
Moments kissing
Moments leaving.
I turn
When I reach my jeep
And wave
Wondering when
I will see her again.
Wondering
If I want to.
In this room
Wondering where I am
And what I meant to do
I think of this woman
And how much
I care
And how much
I fear.