Robbed

Why is it
I was robbed
Of a normal life?
Whatever that is
I did not have it.
Depressed since birth,
Blissfully unaware for years.
Only to be mercilessly surprised
At the worst possible moment
With a force
That stopped my life.
Saved without asking
Embarrassed by the failure
Of taking my own life.
Years granted begrudgingly
Only to try again
And again.
So close to success each time.
Stopped by strangers,
Remorseless, duty bound.
Embarrassed by each failure,
hidden within each recovery.
This time will be the last.
Alone, secured, determined.
The noose is tight.
The night is warm.
I have said my goodbyes.
This time there is no chance.
No intervention.
I relax and the darkness comes.
No fear. No regret.
I am determined.
The darkness comes faster.
My vision is taken.
My breath is a memory.
The darkness surrounds
and comforts.
There is a moment
when I can save myself.
Full of remorse with no duty,
the moment passes.
My last thought
is thankful.
My life releases.