Prime

I haven’t felt right
For a long time.
I seem to live in the past.
For those were the best years
For me.
When I am home
And alone
I think about the times
I wasn’t
Home or alone.
I used to have a confidence
That was almost magical.
I could pick out
the most beautiful woman
In the crowd
And approach her
And say just the right things
To draw her interest.
There was a time
When I was never alone
For a night,
A month,
A year,
I found a companion.
Everything is ephemeral
And I never had a relationship
That lasted.
It was so easy then.
Perhaps I’m looking too hard now.
Its harder to find someone
That I want to be with.
I don’t know if the pond is smaller
Or the fisherman less skilled.
But I am alone.
And I struggle
To change the equation.
I wonder if I’ve missed my prime
And have less to offer.
I haven’t quite given up yet,
But more of me
Tries less and less
each day.