The anger

I was so angry for so long,
not even my friends
could pacify me.
I felt every slight,
real or imagined.
I picked fights
and argued incessantly.
I drove away everyone
who could have helped me.
Finally, alone with myself,
I turned the anger inwards
and burned away so much of me
that I once liked.
You were there
from the beginning
and tried so hard
to help me.
I didn’t know you
any longer
and considered you
another obstacle.
You tried as hard as you could
for as long as you could
and then you gave up,
justifying my anger
or so I thought at the time.
Finally alone,
completely alone,
I slowly ran out of
anger and self loathing.
I walked around the house,
stopping in each empty room
and trying to remember
how I felt before the anger.
How I had gotten to this point.
When anger passed
I found solitude
and despair.
So alone,
by my own hand.
Reticent to reach out
to friends I had hurt.
Trying so hard
to make it through each day
without anger,
with loss
and embarrassment.
I was so sad for so long
and one by one
these friends I had wronged
reached out to me
and their care
and attention
brought me back from the edge
to the person I was
before the anger.
I owe so many, so much
that helped me
find my smile
and replace the anger
with love.