The Strength

I want to be stronger.
I run and I work out.
My body changes,
But my mind does not.
I read and I write,
but feel weaker and weaker.
I fall back on vices
to comfort me.
I stop running.
I stop working out.
I feel weaker and weaker.
Where do I find the strength
that I so desperately want?
I mine my past,
looking for the last strength I had.
I go deeper and deeper,
further and further,
and I realize
I’ve never been strong
the way I think of strength now.
But I have survived
So much in my short life.
Perhaps the strength I seek
is already within me.